Jacob's last goodbye
by Natalia Annemarie
Summary: oneshot. Jacob is forcing Bella to let go of him once and for all.


**Disclaimer: I don't own any twilight characters, they're all stephanie myers. :) hope you enjoy reading!**

"NO!" Jacob screamed the simplest word, the word which drenched the air in its pain, pierced through the soul in its anguish. Jacob had returned, not for the wedding, never for the wedding. How could he watch her sell her heart and soul to him, when he knew where they both belonged and where his were. He hated the way Bella stared at him, the way her eyes shifted between shock, love, compassion, and care to apprehension, distance, and resolution. But in the end, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. At first the pain didn't seem to be able to be real. It was too much all the time, too surreal in all its agonizing power. He understood now, the need to hold yourself together from the pain. The feelings that never ebbed away, it only ebbed into you, tunneling its way into your very existence and tearing the sorrowful life from your body. The only difference between his heart break and hers was that he had no personal sun to heal him; he had no savoir to fix his breaking soul which was perishing inside him as time went on. But in the end time didn't really matter, he didn't know how long he'd been gone, a day, a week, a month, a year… they all became one in the end. When you had nothing to gain and everything to forget time lost all meaning. Nothing meant much any longer which only seemed to intensify ten fold the things which still did. Bella's soul, he knew, mattered more then himself, more then he could offer the world, and more then he could ever hope to positively influence those around him or be there to comfort Bella when Edward couldn't. Because that's what it had come down to, this was all he was and all he was was everything and nothing. The only way he could justify himself as everything was because everything he was, was a shadow of the feelings, the memories, and the pain of Bella. He was nothing because his now strong resemblance to a silhouette more than anything else was some how detached from the to memories, feeling the awful pain as if it was a brother of his from a lost time whom felt it, and Jacob only empathized with him.

Edward's lips had touched the soft skin of her neck, Jacob couldn't let it happen but he knew it would. This is how Jacob Black had decided to die, a martyr for his unyielding love and compassion. A world as an outline of his former self wasn't a life he could live, the lack of…everything that surrounded him, the lack of even antipathy which he had before let wash other him in his desire to fight for her was gone. He could not have gathered the energy or emotions to yell that simple word or feel the emotions which washed over him as a result of the memories and feelings flashing through his mind at the sight of her and him had it not been his final act. So there Jacob stood, in the meadow of his lost love and her ever lasting love. He stood on the edge of the field looking weary, standing his ground, and some how being encompassed by a feeling of dearest apathy. Thank God it was finally ending. Jacob was a different person then he'd been, how could he not be. Who he had been had been ripped and torn apart at the already frayed edges of his being and there was no desire to attempt to heal, instead he fixated on what he could do in his last moment of strength before the strength became too overpowering, before he let all lingering memories evade him, the result of nothing shy of being gone.

Edward was snarling now, as Jacob knew he would. Jacob watched a little apprehensively. He wondered how much it would hurt, or how much of the hurt he would allow himself to feel. The physical pain could be no harder to block out than the emotional pain. Jacob would stay human for the attack, he'd never thought on it, but he had the feeling he had made the decision a long while ago. When he left this world full of its vivid sensations and passions he wanted to make sure he was in the form which had felt the most pain, the form in which he would welcome death the greatest, almost as a long awaited friend. Edward was advancing, curiosity in his eyes, and possibly a flicker of fear. This calm approach was not home to Jacob and he knew Edward didn't understand, but then again Edward could never understand. Bella's scream was expected as Edward advanced on Jacob, tackling him to the ground in one swift movement, bringing Jacob within an inch of death then hesitating as Bella's whimpers reached his ears. In the split second of hesitation Jacob looked into the eyes of the girl he was giving his life for in a twisted way, in a way which would only make sense to him and to her. As their eyes locked, Jacob gave her the smallest of smiles, conveying to her that all was going to be alright, and that feeling his loss was not necessary at this moment nor any others. She'd lost him long ago; this final moment just cemented it. His last glimpse held Bella's eyes as she reached toward him wordlessly, painfully, her own attempt to save him. In that split second he realized unfeelingly that this would break her apart. But he felt neither remorse nor sadness for her soul and soon to be brokenly damaged heart. She had chosen her path years ago, he had just been an unexpected fork in the road in her destination, yet even as she traveled that unexpected fork, it still took her to the same destination. It still took her to Edward. Jacobs last breathe came in as a final sigh of relief. He would never have to feel the terrorizing pain or the agonizing presence of the deadened sensation that only unrequited love could bring again.

'_Goodbye Bella' was Jacob Black's final thought. And it was over at last as a deafening crack pierced the air, perhaps only masked in greatness of sound by Bella's scream of agony and horror._

**Hope you enjoyed it, I know its a bit sad and rough, i wrote it pretty quick and just decided to throw it up for anyone who wanted to read it.**** Anyways tell me what you think. :) and have a great day! -Natalie**


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